Day 2 – Morning

I woke up in more or less ok mood,  can’t stop thinking how to fix my marriage, how afraid I am of losing my husband.  I want my husband to see this through, to forgive me for helping me get better.  He said that I don’t need him but he is mistaken, I have no one to lean on, He was always my support when I was looking for a new job when we moved when I finally got my dream job.

All I want him to forgive me.

Then my mother started messaging my husband and things turned from ok to cope with too bad. I am at work with tons of task at hand and all I can do is think and over analyze, I feel like I am falling and unsure when I will hit the bottom.  My husband is taking me to the therapist on Monday, I really hope there is a cure for me.  For my marriage. I told him how i felt today again, I told him that him being negative is not helping, I told him that  I need us to start over and try to be there one for another and laugh together.

I know he is at work, but I can’t wait to get a message from him. I can’t wait to feel again how much he loves me. This waiting time is killing me.  I would love to have hope that we can repair this.

I start praying today, praying so hard that God can hear me.  I don’t know who to turn to anymore.  !!

 

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